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Choosing Kindness In The Classroom

Posted on by Alex Aide

This past Wednesday, Cynthia and I made our way to the DonorsChoose.org offices here in Manhattan. Starbucks coffee in hands, we both arrived on time at the front door of their building, so excited for what was about to happen. Born This Way Foundation and DonorsChoose.org have been working for months on ways to work together to promote mental and emotional wellness in public schools, and the day had finally arrived to announce the initiative to do just that – appropriately titled “The Mental and Emotional Wellness Challenge.”

To properly kick off the partnership, Cynthia sat down with Charles Best, CEO of DonorsChoose.org, at their offices to host a Facebook Live broadcast where the Challenge would be explained to the world. As they got settled in front of the camera, we all quickly realized that if this partnership doesn’t work out, they both would have promising careers ahead of them as morning TV show anchors. Tell me I’m wrong:

Fortunately, the partnership is going to work out. If you haven’t heard of DonorsChoose.org, you are missing out on something incredibly special. Users on the site can choose classroom projects they’d like to donate their money to. Once that project is fully-funded, DonorsChoose.org purchases all the items needed for the project and ships them to the school. It’s an incredible platform to help make teachers’ and students’ educational needs and ideas to improve their schools happen, and it’s also an incredible way to involve people on the outside who just want to see them become a reality.

The Mental and Emotional Wellness Challenge is truly unique. In fact, it’s the first of its kind to support this category of emotional wellness projects on DonorsChoose.org. Plus, the Challenge will double the donations to teacher-led projects falling under this category and TRIPLE student-led projects of the same (up to $500). Not only that, at the end of the campaign, Born This Way Foundation will select the five projects that best demonstrate the importance of mental health, decrease stigma around the issue, and teach students practical skills to support their mental and emotional wellness. At the end of the challenge, the 5 most innovative teachers will receive a $5,000 DonorsChoose.org gift card.

While the details that were laid out during the broadcast are incredibly exciting — I couldn’t help but notice the map behind the two of them as they chatted. Right before the interview started, Charles gave us a quick tour of their space, and Cynthia and I were fascinated to learn that same map provides real-time data on projects happening across the country.

It hit me: these projects can happen anywhere in the US. Students and teachers won’t have to rely on their school districts’ approvals or state budgets’ allowances to make these ideas a reality. They can happen right now – regardless of location.

Mental and emotional wellness is not relegated to only certain parts of the country, or even certain individuals for that matter. We all have a need to support these aspects of our lives, and students should have every opportunity in schools to learn about and foster them.

Cynthia and Charles wrapped their conversation, and she and I said our goodbyes to their lovely team. Once we got to the elevator, Cynthia and I jumped for joy. For us two proud born-and-raised West Virginians in the middle of Manhattan, we couldn’t believe this was happening. Together with DonorsChoose.org, Born This Way Foundation is making mental health support and education available to everybody, right now.

Check out their conversation below and learn more about the projects YOU can support at DonorsChoose.org.

12 Hours of Inspiration in Indianapolis

Posted on by Maya Enista Smith

Yesterday, I sat down for dinner with Alex after an incredible, but long day in Indianapolis. I ordered three tacos, ate them at lightning speed and then asked the waiter to surprise me with a fourth taco of his choice. As he walked away from our table, he said “You came ready to eat today, huh?” I wanted to be insulted but I wasn’t, because he was right. I was starving, and I had come to Indianapolis ready to ask every single person I met for their restaurant recommendations and to share kindness. I ate well and had one of the best days yet on tour. I’ll spare you the former, and go into detail on the latter.

In Indianapolis, Bankers Fieldhouse sent a note to all concert goers inviting them to bring feminine hygiene products to donate to a local drive organized by our amazing Channel Kindness Award winner Taylor (more on that in a minute). I wanted to do my part, so I flew from California to Indiana with a suitcase full of tampons and when I woke up yesterday morning, I stuffed them all in bags and headed off to a day full of kindness.

My first stop – obviously – was Starbucks and as I was called to the cash register to place my order, I realized that my wallet was under a mountain of tampons. I took out each box, one by one, and stacked them on the counter in front of me, even asking the businessman behind me to hold one, so I could reach my wallet. I ordered my Starbucks, shared the statistic that, on average, a woman pays $7 per month for 40 years for these boxes, a privilege that many people cannot afford, and started my day.

At the hotel, an old, but Millennial, friend of mine picked us up at our hotel and brought us to an incredible space called the Alexander Hotel. Derrick Feldmann, from ACHIEVE Agency, had taken it upon himself to check out the Lady Gaga tour dates and sent me a note about coming to town. Too often, when friends email me, I have to give them the honest excuse that I’m in town for twelve hours and as much as I’d love to see them, I have a packed schedule. Derrick didn’t want to see me (or at least, not only see me), he wanted to be part of that packed schedule.

He and the incredible team from the Buckingham Foundation hosted an early morning conversation on kindness, mental wellness and the intersection of the two in building resilient communities. There is nothing I like more than starting my Mondays with coffee, friends and kindness and I am grateful to Derrick for providing all three.

From there, we went to IUPUI to meet Channel Kindness Award winner Taylor Parker and add my tampons to the more than 6,700 other ones that Taylor had collected the night before from Little Monsters at the show.

The room in the Multicultural Center was buzzing with activity and overflowing with products and clothing donations. In the center of this happy chaos was Taylor – the vice president of IUPUI’s LGBTQ+ Center. Taylor was surrounded by a group of friends, waiting for her direction and each time she turned her back, remarking on how incredible she was, how amazing this event was and how grateful they were to be her friend.

One young woman called Taylor a “national treasure” and another shared the impact that Taylor had had on her life. There is no shortage of inspiring, one of a kind young people in my life and for that, I am so grateful. These young people – every single day – make me feel confident in our future, grateful for their leadership and vision and hopeful for my children. Taylor was all of those things but I also felt something I have only felt a handful of times in my life – the urge to be quiet. The urge to watch someone because I could feel that somehow, in the study of another person, I would learn how to become a better human being.

Each person that walked into that room (which Taylor wanted me to make sure I told you, was a room and a campaign organized by all queer women), was greeted with a smile, and a hug and a personal question by Taylor. The question wasn’t “how are you?” or “how’s your day?” Instead, she would ask, “I know you have that ASA meeting tonight, do you have a way to get there? I know your class ends at 8:15 PM. Can I come get you and drive you to the meeting?”

It’s as though Taylor knew what each person needed and instead of asking the surface questions that we all spend way too much time on, she cut through that and offered to meet an unmet, sometimes unknown, need. She didn’t have things to give other people, which implies privilege, she simply existed to help others thrive and was willing (and committed) to using everything she had for other people – her voice, her tampons, her conference room and her life.

The selfless, urgent giving spirit was echoed throughout each one of our interactions in Indianapolis yesterday. We had the opportunity to sit down with the staff for the Indiana Youth Group, who shared excitedly about their new space, their ambitious capital campaign and the crises that they deal with every day, as they work to make Indiana a more safe, inclusive and welcoming space for young people. We heard it again at ArtMix, where art builds community and erases difference, and there’s no such thing as a disability.

How The Megan Meier Foundation Changed My Life

Posted on by Tina Meier

Today’s blog comes from a friend of Born This Way Foundation. It is an extremely personal narrative about losing a child and contains descriptions and information about suicide which may be triggering to survivors or to the family and/or friends of victims. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please seek help. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24 hours a day assistance.

October 17, 2006 My entire life as I knew it was forever changed the moment I held Megan in my arms as she took her last breath. I was no longer the person I was before. Everything I thought I knew about the world was no more and I was surrounded by a fog that was so thick and heavy that breathing felt impossible.

Flashes of what might have been that played over and over in my head, and the question of “WHY” that never has an answer are the nightmares that don’t go away. Eleven years ago I didn’t think that I would ever be able to wake up and not feel this deep pain and sadness, let alone being able to smile or laugh again. For anyone that is reading this that has suffered the loss of a child to suicide, I can say from my personal experience:

1) It’s not going to be easy.

2) It takes time, and I mean a lot of time which is so hard when each day feels like an eternity.

3) Find supportive people in your life to listen to you or just be with you.

4) Know that many times after a tragedy that some close people in your life may turn away because of numerous reasons. Sometimes they don’t know how to handle your grief, it may scare them, and they want you and life to go back to the way it used to be.

5) Know that if this happens to you that you will be okay because there will be those few people that stay by your side through your ups and downs: those are your true friends

6) Forgive yourself for all of the things that you think you should have or could have done differently to save your child. (This one was personally one of the hardest things for me to work through.)

7) And finally and this is the most important one of all . . . that you will make it through!

December 12, 2007 the day the Megan Meier Foundation, 501(c)(3) nonprofit was founded.  Our mission is to “Support and Inspire Actions to End Bullying, Cyberbullying, and Suicide.”   We know that thirteen million youth are bullied every year, and the Megan Meier Foundation makes a significant impact on the lives of those who are impacted by raising awareness, education and providing the appropriate tools and strategies educators and young people need to combat these prevalent issues.

Since 2008, the Megan Meier Foundation has provided:

  • Over 900 bullying, cyberbullying, and suicide prevention presentations
  • Reaching 302,168 students, parents, educators, and professionals
  • Hosting EMPOWER Leadership Workshops to 118 middle and high schools since 2011 in the St. Louis region impacting over 9,600 students and educators
  • 562 individuals have received support and resources across the nation from our Resource Center
  • 34 youth and their families have received counseling services


Starting the Megan Meier Foundation has been life saving for me.  Since I can’t change the past (if I could I would) then changing the future and helping youth, parents and educators around the issues of bullying, cyberbullying, and suicide is my life’s mission.  I truly feel blessed that Megan’s life has touched so many around the world in such a positive way!

A Brave Fight with Breast Cancer

Posted on by Andre Dubois

Sonja Durham was a beloved member of the Born This Way Foundation family. She passed away earlier this year following a long, brave fight with breast cancer. In celebration of her memory, and in honor of National Breast Cancer Awareness month, we’re sharing the below message from Sonja’s husband, André Dubois.

Nearly a quarter million people are diagnosed with breast cancer each year. Click here to learn more and to support the American Cancer Society’s efforts to raise awareness, improve treatment, and find a cure.

When Born This Way Foundation was born Sonja, mentioned to me that this would be the next step she would take and it would become the passion project that would get her off the road and touring. If you know Sonja like we know Sonja, you’d know touring was her life and nothing could get her off the road. She looked at the foundation as her life line not only for herself but for the people of the world and especially the Little Monsters.

It’s no secret that Sonja was battling stage 4 metastasized breast cancer for over five years and we all know cancer so I’ll not put the spotlight on it, but rather on how to get through the darkness that accompanies the disease.

Sonja’s battle didn’t stop her from living or from handling her daily affairs for Haus Of Gaga and still manage to organize some events to support the foundation while on tour. She earned her position as Managing Director of Haus of Gaga, but she’d often say it was just a title and not her status.

I think Sonja found in Born This Way Foundation a way to explore, question, and challenge many of the social issues we as a people are facing today. Sonja was always a very humble person but as she became more involved with the Foundation she became even more humbled and full of so much gratitude – everything Sonja did was with gratitude. She lived her life feeling the world with “both hands and an open heart.” That’s a philosophy she applied on a daily basis – as we all should.

In the beginning it was rough, real rough, having to come to terms with cancer and knowing what the final outcome could be will toss your world upside down. We found our answers and a way to overcome our fears and challenges with three simple words that require action and consistency in order to survive the horrors of the disease or really any thing you’re dealing with in your life. Sonja was a shinning example, always positive, and nothing about this disease ever got her down. She was a warrior!

How Can We Do This Together?

Love is the only way we can survive, it cures all and can carry us through any challenges life puts forth. For us, that was the one thing that kept it all together, it was our catalyst. The love we had for each other and that of our families, our friends, and the countless strangers that offered their words of support and ideas was love to us. Love kept us strong.

“Community” in times of struggle is key – we need more resources in order to educate, support, and lift up all going through their battles, not just with cancer. Compassion and kindness – that’s what we learned along the way and this is what we continue to do, we practice compassion and kindness, we accept and we progress as a community.

Find Resources and Support that Help You Be Brave.

Bravery is a word that served and serves us well. Being a part of Haus and Born This Way Foundation we are encouraged and inspired to be brave and we are thanks to our community. We needed to be brave at all times, fearless and focused with any and all choices we made about Sonja’s battle and treatment. We had many resources – doctors, nurses, spiritual healers, and an army behind us from all corners of the world. We chose all of those resources to help us be brave.

People need to know and feel that there are resources that can help with all of life’s struggles and what we need is more research and more awareness – a whole lot more then what we currently have. Create awareness and we can cure our pain and suffering so we can be a better people, a better community.

“It Is What It Is, We’ll Figure It Out”

Faith is something Sonja had, her deep roots in her southern Baptist upbringing as a small girl certainly paved the way for how she would later lead her life. That ground work would be her life’s mission to be of service to others.

Faith is what you believe in, it’s a personal choice. While many of us don’t always have a lot of faith, it’s about believing in something, a belief that no matter what your struggles are your personal faith will carry you through the most horrendous times. This was one of our darkest moments but our faith shined light. If it weren’t for our personal faith it certainly would’ve been much harder for us to carry on in the manner in which we did.

namaste,

dre’

A Message from Our Co-Founder on World Mental Health Day

Posted on by Lady Gaga

Mental health is just as vital to our wellbeing as physical health. That’s true for each of us, everyday, but it’s especially important for those coping with disaster and recovering from trauma.

Over the past few weeks, millions have been forced to endure the unthinkable as the result of the hurricanes that have recently hit Texas, Florida, and Puerto Rico. My prayers have been with those impacted and I know yours have been too. But thoughts and well wishes are not enough.

We must do everything within our power to support the full, vibrant recovery of these communities, from meeting their immediate needs to helping them to rebuild sustainably. These brave survivors, however, are struggling to cope not only with the physical damage done to their towns and cities but with the mental and emotional toll of these events.

So the response to these disasters must encompass these communities’ mental and emotional needs as well as their physical wellbeing – and dedicate resources accordingly. This is vital to long term recovery for people of all ages but especially for youth who can be particularly vulnerable. We know that when a young person experiences trauma the effects can be devastating, potentially impacting their ability to function successfully in school and beyond and hindering their mental health for years to come.

That’s why, as part of my commitment to donate $1 million towards helping these communities recover, I’m supporting Save the Children’s Journey of Hope program. This amazing evidence-based program helps youth and their caregivers develop the resiliency they need to not just recover in the short term but to flourish for years to come.

Through a curriculum that includes cooperative play, discussion, art, meditation and mindfulness practices, young people learn to recognize and understand their emotions and develop healthy coping skills. Tens of thousands of youth have benefited from the program since it’s development in the wake of Hurricane Katrina and Save the Children is working to bring it to hundreds of thousands more in Texas, Florida, and Puerto Rico.

In recognition of World Mental Health Day, I’m inviting all of you to join me in supporting this transformational program. Click here to help Save the Children ensure that these young people have the skills and resources they need to thrive in the face of tragedy.

Over the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing more about how I plan to support efforts to help communities who have been impacted by Hurricanes Harvey, Irma, Jose, and Maria as well as the two earthquakes in Mexico and I hope you’ll join me. Together, we can help these beautiful, vibrant communities rebuild stronger and healthier.