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SAVE & CLOSE

What an Emotion Evolution!

I just returned from the Emotion Revolution Summit, a joint project between Born This Way Foundation, the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and Facebook. It was an incredible day, bringing together nearly 200 youth and young adult leaders and over 150 educators, policy makers, parents, and industry leaders. What an evolution in our thinking about the importance of emotional intelligence and the importance of talking about our emotions!

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, understand, and manage our own emotions and to have an appreciation for others’ emotions. During the Emotion Revolution Summit on October 24th, young people spent time in workshops learning strategies to help them create the emotions that they said they would like to feel in school: Happy. Excited. Energized. Inspired. Safe. Comfortable. Valued. Respected. Connected. Supported. Balanced. Content. Empowered. Motivated. Passionate. Purposeful. The adults at the Summit attended talks on the Emotion Revolution survey results, creating positive school climate, the Born Brave survey results on kindness and bravery, social and emotional learning, the RULER approach, and understanding adolescent development. Together, these talks and workshops are supporting a movement that Lady Gaga trended, #IamNOTjust______. Lady Gaga shared her feelings of anxiety with the audience and wore a t-shirt that said, “#IamNotJust Anxious.” Her bravery in sharing her feelings of anxiety and depression were inspirational and a model for all of us on the importance and healing power of emotional intelligence.

Cynthia kicked off the day talking about the challenges of parenting and that she has learned the importance of affirming her emotions and affirming her children’s emotions. She challenged the adults in the room by saying, “To the parents and the teachers in this room, I want to encourage you to encourage your children and your students to reveal their emotions.” Lady Gaga spoke throughout the day to youth and adults. Some of her inspirational comments were:

 

 

 

 

As Lady Gaga said, “we’re here to EXPLODE the conversation!” Let’s see this Emotion Revolution take over our homes, schools, and communities and together let’s create an Emotion Evolution! It’s starts with YOU.

With Gratitude,

Dr. Sue

 

 

Our mission at Born This Way is to support the wellness of young people and part of that mission involves having difficult conversations about difficult topics. Lady Gaga’s new song, “Til It Happens to You” is now available on Apple Music  and shines the light on a very important problem: campus assault and rape. The song, written by Diane Warren and Lady Gaga contributed to a film called The Hunting Ground, documenting campus assaults and rapes that have been an age-old problem, yet one that has not been openly discussed.  You can watch the PSA directed by Catherine Hardwicke on Vevo (A portion of proceeds from the sale of the song will be donated to organizations helping survivors of sexual assault). “’Til It Happens to You” aims to open up the conversation about campus assault and rape.

Here are some of the research facts about campus assaults/rapes:

  • While sexual assaults are under-reported, a recent study suggests that 1 in 5 young women have been sexually assaulted on college campuses.
  • In a 2004 study of women raped on college campuses, 72% of the women were raped while intoxicated (Mohler-Kuo, M., Dowdall, G.W., Koss, M.P., & Wechsler, H. (2011). Correlates of rape while intoxicated in a national sample of college women. Journal of Studies on Alcohol, 65, 37-45).
  • While the statistics on campus assaults are scary, there are prevention and intervention programs that can help.
  • An online intervention program, “Take Care,” was found to increase bystander intervention behavior when witnessing campus violence by teaching students what to do and where to seek help (Kleinsasser, A., Jouriles, E.N., Mc Donald, R., & Rosenfield, D. (2015). An online bystanders intervention program for the prevention of sexual violence. Psychology of Violence, 5, 227-235).
  • University campus health centers provide campus leadership, education, and mental health services regarding campus violence. Check out the CARE program at the University of Maryland:  and the PREVENT program at the University of Nebraska.
  • Fortunately, increased awareness of campus assault and rape has led to increased programming to prevent violence.

Despite the increased research in this area and increased public attention to this very important topic, many campus assaults go unreported. We want to change this statistic by empowering everyone to SPEAK OUT AGAINST VIOLENCE.

What can we all do?

  1. Create a buddy system. Don’t go to a party alone. Make sure someone is there to watch out for you and to make sure that you get home safely.
  2. Identify a designated friend who won’t drink at the party and who will be responsible for making sure you’re okay. Do the same for your friends.
  3. Know that drinking/drugging are risk factors for assault and violence. Think before you take a drink/do the drug.
  4. Bring your own water and/or your own drink. Don’t put your drink down or give it to someone you don’t know.
  5. Be wary of strangers—people who are charming and who want to get to know you quickly are most likely the people whom you should be worried about.
  6. Be a good friend and stick with your good friends.
  7. Have conversations with your friends about safety. Create a safety plan.
  8. Don’t walk alone at night. Most campuses have escort programs and campus police who can help if you’re alone.
  9. Consider carrying pepper spray on your keychain.
  10. Find campus supports at your campus counseling center. Get involved with domestic violence and assault resources in your community.

It is brave to seek help and we want you to know that there are many supports for people who have experienced assault in all forms. You are brave – stand up and use your VOICE to seek support for yourself and others.

With Gratitude,
Dr. Sue

September is suicide prevention month and at Born This Way we like to say that every day is an opportunity to take care of your mental health. There are so many supports for you when you’re struggling and we’d like to help you find them. In our research on help-seeking preferences, we’ve found that the best combination of support is both talking face-to-face and reaching out through confidential text or chat lines. We’ve listed several, reputable sources of support on our website here and we’ve recently heard about this Veterans Crisis Line, where veterans can receive 24/7 support. The Veterans Crisis Line has a powerful slogan, “the power of one.” It just takes one kind comment, one brave gesture to help yourself or someone who might need help.

It’s also important to remember that seeking help doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. Going for a walk, hiking, talking to a trusted friend or family member, meditating, exercising, yoga, volunteering are all great and inexpensive ways to focus on your mental and physical health.

When you or someone you know needs additional mental health treatment, there are some great resources to help you find a mental health professional in your area. The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies has a “Find a Therapist” link. Psychology Today also has a link for finding a therapist in your area. Finally, WebMD has a link to help you determine which type of therapist might be best for you or someone you know.

We want you to know that it’s brave to seek help. Everyone needs help and support throughout their lives. Be the one who is brave to get help and most importantly, be kind to yourself and others.

With Gratitude,
Dr. Sue

July 27, 2015

Last week youth and young adults from across the country joined forces with Born This Way Foundation, Yale’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, educators, psychologists, and policy makers for a two-day meeting at Facebook’s headquarters. Our purpose was to plan for the launch of Emotion Revolution on October 24, 2015.

Emotion Revolution is a youth-inspired national initiative to create emotionally-healthy schools—places where adults and students want to be—places where everyone is valued, learning is inspiring, and opportunities are created.

Facebook’s campus was a perfect location for this meeting. The campus was filled with people learning, working, and actively engaging with one another, which is what we did as well.

Several members of BTWF’s youth advisory board (YAB) joined us in brainstorming ideas and developing plans for the Emotion Revolution that we hope will ensure that our nation’s schools are welcoming, inspiring places. One youth, Adejire, said “When technology and social good unite, the possibilities for scale and impact are immense, yet measurable. This is just the beginning.” Another YAB member, Daniella, stated, “This event challenged everything I thought about emotions. We all have the power to positively impact the emotions of those around us and in doing so, create a culture where emotions are respected and positively supported. I am so grateful to everyone here for believing in youth and allowing us to be the drivers of change.  I cannot wait to see what we will accomplish!”

Look for more tweets and posts using the hashtag, #EmotionRevolution as we engage in this youth-led, youth-inspired revolution!

With Gratitude,
Dr. Sue

It’s been great to read your feedback on our blog. Several of you mentioned being interested in the concept of mindfulness and the challenges of practicing mindfulness when the busyness of life gets in the way.

As I was thinking about this mindfulness blog, everywhere I looked I saw resources for mindfulness! It was as if the universe was telling me that this was a timely blog to write. I also took some time to reflect on my background—my father is a professor of Asian religions, specifically an expert in Theravada Buddhism. I grew up going to school in Thailand during his sabbatical years and we were often around Buddhist monks, who are certainly experts in practicing mindfulness! So, I’m particularly interested in how all of us can practice mindfulness in our daily lives—especially when our lives are hectic, filled with noise, challenges, hundreds of emails and pings from social media, work and school pressures, and the myriad of life’s issues that can impede our ability to stop….quiet our minds….and practice mindfulness.

The good news is that there are many resources to help us all understand and practice mindfulness. As Jerry Braza writes, “mindfulness is the practice of becoming fully aware of each moment and one’s experiences of that moment.” In his book, Moment by moment, Dr. Braza shares ten strategies for developing mindfulness in work, school, and home:

  1. Let go
  2. Open your heart
  3. Simplify
  4. Forgive
  5. Be mindful
  6. Breathe!
  7. Speak from your heart
  8. Think health
  9. Appreciate others
  10. Look deeply

Another book that I’ve found particularly helpful is Manuela Reeds’ book, 8 keys to practicing mindfulness: Practical strategies for emotional health and well-being. In this book, Manuela shares these 8 strategies:

  1. Meet the present moment
  2. Start where you are
  3. Slow down
  4. Befriend your body
  5. Trust your sensations, tame your emotions
  6. Ride through tough times
  7. Cultivate inner calmness
  8. Choose abundance

These two books are really great roadmaps for cultivating mindfulness. As I was contemplating writing this blog, I received an email invitation to join Oprah and Deepak’s 21-day meditation experience starting on July 13th (https://chopracentermeditation.com). This is a wonderful opportunity to learn to practice mindfulness, led by Deepak Chopra. Won’t you join me?

With Gratitude,
Dr. Sue