Introducing Channel Kindness
Yesterday, I was walking out of the grocery store with my two small children and we walked by a homeless family. The father was holding a sign that read “I lost my job. We all need help sometimes.” I read the sign as I passed and smiled at him. I was in a rush, hurrying to pick up dinner and make it home in time for bath time, bed time and one last conference call. We picked up dinner and walked towards the man and his family again and my son paused in front of the sign and asked, “Mama, what does this say?”
Three Pennies Can Make A Difference
I read him the sign and watched his face as he thought about what it meant for this man to be asking for help, and his own ability to help him. We walked another couple of steps towards the car and my son stopped. “I’d like to give him my pennies.” I knelt down next to him and asked him to repeat himself, though I knew exactly what he was asking for. He had found three pennies on the floor in Chipotle and he was clutching them inside the pocket of his Carmel hoodie, so excited to go home and put them in his piggy bank. I told him that if he gave that family his pennies, I’d add my dollars. He ran happily back to the man and gave him all the money in his little hands.
In my son yesterday, and in each of you every day at Born This Way Foundation, I see people whose decisions and conversations are driven by kindness, acceptance, and compassion. I see organizations and groups of people that are committed to crossing boundaries and working together to solve problems. I see passion and commitment to building a kinder, braver and better world and I am honored to do this work alongside you.
Kindness and Compassion Outweigh Hate
Today, Born This Way Foundation is launching Channel Kindness. The work of Channel Kindness will be to identify, train and equip a corps of 50 youth reporters in communities across the country to train their eyes, ears, and hearts to find, recognize and report the acts of kindness that fill our daily lives. The goal of our new program is simple; to channel kindness. The stories of kindness, compassion, and bravery will be told on a new platform and across the foundation’s social channels, shared by our partners and distributed by traditional media. Our hope is that the narrative of an engaged, empowered, collaborative and compassion generation and society will outweigh the divisive, depressing, sensationalist stories that floor our minds every day.
We are not naïve, we know that our country is facing crises on many levels, but we also know that in order to stand together to through today’s crises as well as tomorrow’s, we must not only believe but prove that the good outweighs the bad, that our strength outweighs our weakness and that love outweighs hate. We need to read the signs, hear the words and watch the actions of people asking for kindness, for support, and for community, and do our part to Channel Kindness.
If you’re a young person between the ages of 16 – 24, please apply here and if you know a passionate young person with a story to tell, please nominate them here.
We are thrilled to announce that Maya Enista Smith, currently our Director of Impact and Operations, will now be the first Executive Director of Born This Way Foundation! Maya has been an integral part in growing the Born This Way Foundation and is committed to working towards making sure the world is a braver and kinder place. Get to know Maya better below!
On Thursday, I was driving my almost four-year- old to school and we passed a skunk on the side of the road. Immediately, the car filled with the skunk stench and I could see him in the rear view mirror, pinching his nose and sticking out his tongue. I opened his window, let the fresh air in and averted the potential, stinky crisis.
As we continued down the road, he asked, “Mama, why do skunks make stinky smells?” He’s at the age where most of his questions about which planet is the biggest or about the canals on Lake Eerie require me to ask Siri but this one, I knew. I explained to him that skunks spray that smell to protect themselves or when they are scared.
He thought about my answer for a moment and then followed up; “Mama, how do people protect us?”
His question came to me, ten days after the unspeakable tragedy in Orlando, on the morning of another movie theater shooting in Viernheim, Germany, while living in a country divided and confused by a vitriolic political debate, and driving my four-year-old to a school that has (thankfully) taught my toddler what to do if there is an active shooter on a campus. All this led me to the realization that I did not have a good answer for him.
With tears streaming down my face, I told him that our protection is the use of our words. I told him that when one of our buddies (our word for friends he hasn’t met yet) does something to us that we do not like or that hurts us, we use our words and ask them to stop.
We are fortunate enough to have words, unlike the skunk, to communicate with others and for others to communicate with us. I told him that not everyone remembers how to use their words anymore but that doesn’t mean we should stop.
I sat in the parking lot of his school after dropping him off, reflecting on our conversation and how important the message of kindness is and the power of our words, as well as our actions. I chose the work that I do because of a choice my parents made for their children, immigrating to a democracy to give us rights and opportunities that they had never had.
I continue to do the work that I do because of my own children and all of their buddies across the world. I need to continue to believe that the potential, opportunity and idealism that led my parents to give up everything they had and come here, is real and can be available to everyone who wants and needs it.
I am so proud to work for an organization that shares that aspirational vision and today, I’m honored to be writing this blog as the new Executive Director of Born This Way Foundation.
Born This Way Foundation is dedicated to the wellness of young people, the flourishing of our communities and, ultimately, to the creation of a kinder and braver world. In the four years that I have been with Born This Way Foundation, we have connected with, convened and supported millions of young people across the world. We’ve invited them to share their stories, collaborate with one another, realize the power of their voice and leverage their many online and offline communities to promote the wellness of themselves and each other.
Moving forward, Born This Way Foundation will continue to do this important work. We will be informed by the best scientific research available and collaborate with the best likeminded organizations operating today to connect young people with the real stories that will inspire them and the resources that will empower them to thrive. Over the coming months, we will launch new programming focused on catalyzing action and creating real change in schools, communities, and online.
We will focus on the root causes of so many issues that our young people – and our country – are facing. We will work to equip youth with the tools they need to thrive mentally and emotionally, understanding that raising healthy children means considering the whole picture.
We will work to foster kindness, compassion, and hope in our communities, fighting back against the tide of hate that divides us.
And – perhaps most importantly – we’ll work with young people themselves to ensure that they have a seat at the table and a voice in this conversation.
I ended my conversation with my son last week by telling him that sometimes, people don’t listen to our words and that makes us sad. But when that happens, we act as an example of the kindness and respect with which we want to be treated and we hope that they notice, and change their behavior. I told him that he can be an example of kindness that others can learn from and that he can also learn from the kind actions and words of other people. He told me he’d stop poking his little sister in the face, and I agreed that would be a great place to start.
As both a mother and as Executive Director of Born This Way Foundation, I invite you to join us as we build a kinder and braver world.
Today, as I walked hand in hand with my three year old son through the parking lot of his preschool, he looked up at me and said, “Mama, two boys try to fight me today.” My heart skipped a beat and luckily, I knew his emerging vocabulary well enough to ask a question or two and learn that “try to fight me” meant pointing a stick in his direction on the playground, while making light saber noises. I opened the passenger side door and watched his increasingly long body climb over the front seat and into his car seat in the back and was reminded again of why the work that I have the privilege of doing with Born This Way Foundation matters and why the Emotion Revolution is so important.
On Saturday, October 24th almost four-hundred people will gather in the Zhang Auditorium on the Yale University campus. The seats will be filled with young people from across the country, teachers and administrators from schools of all sizes, elected officials from up and down the East Coast, leaders of some of our nation’s largest philanthropic institutions, and researchers who spend their days deep in sobering statistics about what is happening in our children’s schools.
We’ll discuss data about how youth stress levels are – for the first time – outpacing adult stress levels in our country. We’ll talk about how in one study, about 49% of children in grades 4 through 12 have reported being bullied by their peers at least once during the past month. You’ll hear a speaker talk about how depression is diagnosed in kids as young as ten years old, and those numbers are on the rise. Your hearts will sink as you hear about the suicide rates in our nation’s schools and meet parents whose resolve has been tested and whose hearts have been broken.
This is all true and it is all vitally important. I would suggest though, that even more important, is to listen to the young people who’ll sit on the stage and tell you about the creative ways they are encouraging their fellow students. These students are building collaborative partnerships between school administrators and students, launching best in class non-profits aimed at connecting young people, and serving as examples of what it means to be kind and brave every day.
It will be among the greatest honors of my life to meet and learn about the amazing young people who will fill Zhang Auditorium on Saturday. Nora started a “My Mental Health Matters” club at her school that works to break the stigma attached to mental health issues. Grace works tirelessly to raise awareness about teen dating violence, starting a martial arts based anti-violence non-profit. Andrew came out in front of his entire study body, through poetry and sparked a conversation about LGBT issues in schools. After seeing first-hand the negativity impacting her school, Gabby started a social media initiative called “Buddy Project” to pair young people struggling with mental illness, eating disorders, and self-harm with buddies to help them cope. I can fill pages and pages with inspiring examples of young people who know the statistics, understand the challenges, and choose to focus on solutions, collaboration, and hope.
It is in Nora, Grace, Andrew, Gabby, and the hundreds of other young people that will join us on Saturday, that I find my hope.
I want to add my voice to the chorus of voices who believe the Emotion Revolution is important, who believe in the power of youth to solve our greatest problems, and who realize the urgency of this work. I want to do this not as the Director of Impact and Operation for Born This Way Foundation, but instead, as a mother of two curious, energetic, and kind children. For the past three years, I’ve had the privilege of seeing the world through their eyes. I’ve come to refer to strangers as “buddies” and eagerly point out garbage trucks to passing pedestrians and pay special attention to the color of leaves and the smell of flowers. I listen eagerly as my son counts to sixteen, skipping thirteen and fourteen every time, and I learn along with him about planets and orbits (quietly asking my husband, “the Earth revolves around the sun?!”).
My son loves to learn, he loves his friends, he loves his classroom and before today, I don’t think I had heard him say the word fight. I know this work and I know our world and I’m not naïve enough to think that he’ll skip eagerly off to eighth grade, anticipating the next astronomy test. I do hope that he continues to feel valued, respected, challenged, and supported. I will fight – personally and professionally – to ensure that. I can’t do it alone, and as Hunter and Logan’s mom, I want to thank you for doing this work. You don’t know Hunter and Logan and you don’t know the other children to whom your work will matter, and yet you do it anyway. To everyone in the Zhang Auditorium, to everyone watching at home, to everyone that made the Emotion Revolution possible and to everyone committed to this work long after the last speaker leaves the stage, thank you.
Yesterday, we were joined by The Hunting Ground producer Amy Ziering and “Til It Happens to You” songwriter Diane Warren for our #EndAssaultChat on Twitter. We discussed campus sexual assault and the steps we must take to combat this national epidemic. We also heard from you! Thank you for joining us. Together we can shine a much needed light on this important issue.
The chat is over but the conversation is not! Learn more and access important resources here.